Skip to main content

One Heart MANY Emoitions

Friday, August 11, 2006

Life is full of so many trials..tribulations....pains....difficulties..full of liars, cheaters, hustlers and the what not...what life is rarely full of is positive and unconditional love, honor and respect....

Yeah Y'all know that you're boy has been going thru some real life shit and some adult type issues...and well while things weren't looking god for a while, heart and mind both were attacked by stress, pain and heartache...I think that I may just make it out of this okay....That person that I was talking about, that person that helped put me in that position(I say helped because everything in life takes two people) I think that we've reached a common ground and while I'm not sure where that will leave things in the future I do know that anywhere far from where we were I'll take...Now with that being said let's get on to tonights "Words of Wisdom"

And so......People get in touch with your emotions, your feelings, YOU... I ask that you do that because in doing you might just found out some very interesting things..you just found out that buried under that outer shell is a very fragile and caring person, I found that out today...Today I found out that not only am I capable of feeling emotion, pain, and loss I'm also capable of forgiveness, belief that things can get better and damn it....that my life will never be easy...I only say that because if it were meant to be easy that whole lottery thing would've came my way along time ago...But hey FUCK IT...I realized today that my mind and my heart were in entirely to different places...my mind was in a "Man, Fuck It" place while my heart was in a "What is there left" type of place, and by way of a lil tear sheding and a lil anger and a lil silence I've come to find out that in the end both my heart and mind had two very very importan things in common...They both just want to be happy and they both just want to be loved..My dick on the other hand just wanted his piece of the pie...But of course I put that on hold...for now.....anyway...Don't know uf anyone has every realized this but we tend to do a lot of things that our mind tells us is good for us...but rarely do we follow the guidence of our hearts...now by no means am I saying that you should only listen to your heart, not at all what I'm saying is that your heart always has one key emotion while your mind will always be filled with "emotional thoughts" things that we think that our hearts would want up to do...ever hear that saying "Just follow your heart".....we'll I'm going to start going by "Listen to your heart, but analyze with your mind what it is that your heart is trying to tell you...Over the past few days/week I've been following my mind more than my heart and ended up in a place where I felt that I could just curl up and die...I never want that feeling again, never again do I want to feel that I'll never trust/love again. I know now that if I had done that then I would just be cutting life off all together...Love isn't a given, it's not a right and it's not something that is earned thru hardwork. Love in it's many forms is actually "in my mind", based solely on the emotion...the emotion of the moment, the sheer will of giving in everyonce in a while...you know that at on point I never gave into love because I just assumed that it would fail, that I could love to a point...to a point not all the way, you just until it was gone...as though it would come and go with the changing of the season....Now that doesn't mean that I'm gonna run out and tell everyone that I love them or anything. Instead the next time that love comes my way I'm going to embrace it, with the good and bad the comes with it, what I'm not going to do anymore is assume the love will either work or not. I think that from now on I'm just going to enjoy....take my time with it...figure out ways to always keep it fresh...Hmmm...don't I sound like a woman(sorry ladies)? I swear there are men around the cursing me for giving this insight into the male mind, but fuck 'em......

I will say this...For anyone that I've ever dated, known...what have you....If in the past you never quite understood what you were talking about or where you were coming from...I more than understand now...In a way more than I ever expected to....So until I blog again......

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In Part, A Theory

Okay so as you can see…I’m always trying something new..Yeah I know…”yada yada yada Amari, everything in your world is just fine” … What you didn’t think that I didn’t know what goes thru your minds? Really? Hmm..It’s called eye contact for a reason motherfucker, yes I AM PRETTY FOOKIN’ GOOD…NO MOTHERFUCKER DO NOT L@@K M3.. I’m not going to be fucking nice right now, Saturday is “Kick Knowledge Rocks Day”…so bring that brain over here and lemme kick some knowledge in it. Or how-the-fuckever your supposed to say that. Friday Fucking Fun Day is over, on Saturday i, we, me, us, him, and them just sit around, read some books, do some studying and yeah whatever the fuck-else-ever wes do. Fix that fucking sentence too. So it’s Saturday and before I get to whatever I’m going to talk about, I’d like to send a LAICEPS SHOUOUT to myself..”Hey Self…”, “Self Yes”, “Hey yeah self, FUCK YOU”, “Hey now watch it, “Nah..Hey Fuck THAT” “Now you watch your mouth” “Yeah, you watch yours”   …NO...
1 comment
Read more

My XBL Groupie

*Before any of you, my 'regular' readers read this, I want you to know that this post is to address someone who could NEVER mean ANYTHING to me, I just felt that this person needed to be "put in their place", the intention is to bring the humor in the words below, because I think we ALL need someone to LAUGH AT... I write what I feel, I think what I say and I think that what you're thinking about me comes from a collection of words that you'd NEVER SAY. You see, I know that you hate on me as opposed to hate me and I know that you do so knowing that you could never be me. I may never mention you by name because I don't EVER want you to think you've beat me, I just want you to understand that all the silly questions you ask are BENEATH ME...If any of you are reading this and think that this is about you then you've already let me beat you by exposing you as you, see unlike you I don't have to hide who I am, you say that my life's' not wor...
1 comment
Read more

Pick up the phone

It's funny how we always know one is every truly special to things are no more, until all is history and all we can do is look back and want for more reason for this song is for all those loves and relationships that we may have taken for granted, all the friendships victimized and sacrificed by the failed relationships. Love is a wonderful thing, even when it breaks us down and has us feeling like nothing. Sometimes we place blame on it as for the reason why we do the things we do, sometimes we take it for granted, sometimes...sometimes we are just to blind to see it right before us and end up wishing we could go back in time..sometimes..sometimes we wish we could just:     Intro/Hook: Just wish I could pick up the phone, wanna pick up the phone, scroll through all the names that show and dial the numbers to the one  I used to know, dial the numbers 1-4-3, press send just to let her know, hear her voice...
2 comments
Read more