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Mancar Mi, La Mancando .2.

Is it the person of the their presence that we miss the most when a loved on is away? What hurts the more, losing someone or having to let them go?  A friend, a distant relative, a sibling, a best friend, a lover, even a pet. Who for whatever reason is gone or is “away” at the moment. I sit and wonder about things like this, I wonder how they’re doing, I wonder if they know that they are in thought..Funny- but-not-funny how we get the joke a person tells well after they’re gone and “unavailable” to tell it again. Funny the “tricks” that one performed that one time…Even with all of the “Technology” that we have today, nothing is better than when you have a few moments to share with those & that which is close to you. I asked my mom & sister what they thought about this and just like everything else I say to them, my questions were answered with questions and the only conclusion that they came up with is this: I NEED MEDS

My mom feels that I have problems and that I use words to hide my pain, my sister feels that I need to speak to a “professional” and well the rest of my family treats me as if I’m speaking a different language. Hmm, maybe I should try that..maybe I should just go “bilingue” for a bit, maybe that’ll help me get things off my chest, maybe by saying what I think in a different language, my feelings and thoughts can be better understood:

MancarMi, La Mancando

My son left for Basic Training last week and well I kinda miss him…”Battle Music” won’t be the same for the next 9 weeks and playing games online seems a bit lonely when you don’t have a wingman. Seems like now I’m the one who has to take out the trash and damnit he’s the only one who got all my stupid jokes and who was the one person who thought all of my stories were cool. Now he’s gonna come back a man and we’ll spend hours talking “Army Talk”…Damn, but I guess that’s life…I already miss my son “The Boy”..yet I can’t wait to meet my son…”The Man”. 

Right now though I want to talk about missing someone or “something”, like the father whose son is stuck down in Brazil(seriously/sadly, at a time when so many men don’t want to be fathers, those of us who do are denied), I’m talking about missing someone/something the way that Shaq misses Kobe…

Reality Check & Note: Shayla, daddy wrote this one just for his PRINCESS…The loss of a pet is one of the hardest things for a child to go thru and well daddy just wants his “big girl” to smile.

I’m talking missing someone the way that my hamster(Scrumpy) now misses his “brother” Lucky(R.I.P). Lucky died the other day in a “tragic household accident”, a member of the family gone, and now missed.  Scrumpy lost his brother, his best friend, his wingman…That “cage” has to feel ten times bigger and in a way a little empty…Think about that and compare it to how we feel isolated and alone sometimes, how when we feel that we’re alone the world seems so huge…

24 Hours prior to this accident, Lucky & Scrumpy  were in their cage, on their wheel having a blast…”Ya, Ya, Ya”..that’s the “battle music” we used to imagine Lucky saying to himself, like that guy in the gym with the short-shorts, knee high socks, sweat band and old school CD Player(you’re lying to yourself if you deny imaging the sounds that animals make, especially if you have kids..).  24 hours ago, Lucky was a BEAST on wheels…Tragically, his sense of exploration was not only what made him so cool, it also lead to his untimely death. Before I give you the specifics behind what happened, I just wanted to let you know that even the pets in my house aren’t afraid to try new things…I guess EVERYONE & EVERYTHING in my house does need MEDS…Perhaps then my house wouldn’t be like this --->

Now the Cause of Death Report:

At some point during either the night of 5 June 2009 or the early morning of 6 June 2009. Hamsters/brothers Lucky & Scrumpy Williams devised a plan to liberate themselves from their cage and explore the world outside of their world. Some how(still gathering clues), they were able to break-out of their cage and “ninja” their way off of the table, onto the floor and out of the computer room, under the cover and shield of darkness. How they were able to navigate their way across the hardwood floors and stealthily sneak by the keen/watchful guard of my two sleeping dogs(good job guys) remains part of the mystery.  Some point during this I’m sure they had to communicate, in whatever way that hamsters communicate.

I think the conversation went a little something like this:

Lucky: “Dude, We’re breaking out of this Biznitch TONIGHT!!”

Scrumpy: “I don’t know about that Lucky, what if we get caught? What if we get hurt? What if we get..lo..”

Lucky:(INTERUPTING) “Lost, what if we get lost? Man, why all the questions? Gotta let your balls breath bro. I say Fuck It, they have no cats and those dogs are lazy as hell. We can do this, BRO…WE’RE BREAKING OUT…AAHHHH….Battle Music Go > Dooom, dooda,dooda,doda,dooda-dooom-ta-doom-doom”(try it,lol.)

Scrumpy: “All right, FUCK IT.”

With that they were off, no fear, no worries…Just the fun and thrill of a new adventure.

What they did and what happened after getting out into the house may forever remain a mystery because Scrumpy was located in my daughters’ room, sleeping behind their armoire. Lucky, was found a few moments later,(*caution* DETAILS GRAPHIC) fatally wounded, smushed between the couch and the wall in the living room. One eye, “popped out” and blood streaming out of his mouth. I’m no CSI, but reenactment evidence, done after the scene was cleared, shows that Lucky had died by my hands…Apparently I “smushed” him while moving furniture to look for him…I feel that I must confess this: I found what happened sad, unfortunate, and in a way bite-your-lip funny. Who knew that he would die during an attempt to rescue him?

The worst part of the story is not in the words up there, but rather in the words below this one:

The worst part was when we first spotted the body, everyone in the house “assumed” that he victim was Scrumpy, youngest daughter LaShells’ hamster. Which instantly brought tears to her face and a *sigh* of relief out of my oldest daughter. It wasn’t until after I had thrown Scrumpy into the trash(sorry, that was my first reaction) that questions regarding the identity of the body surfaced. Seems that during the shock of what had just happened, we “misremembered” which hamster was which. I literally had to pick Scrumpy up out of the trash and hold in the air so that my daughters could “closely examine the body”. At which point Shayla screams out in terror, “WAIT!!!, Lucky is the one with white fur on his belly!!”…The look of horror staining her face. Tears for one quickly ended and tears for the other began, now the *sigh* changed persons. The look on all of our faces was VISA PRICELESS…Scrumpy, who was Lucky will now be forever MISSED…

So in close I’ll say to you what I said to my daughters at the funeral:

Sometimes in life, we lose the people, the persons and/or the things we love…It’s at that time that we must take the time to sit & reflect on all of the good times, but at some point we’ve gotta bury it and move on and sometimes we have to put a rock over it. Treasure the things you love, forget the things you remember…and never remember the times you’ve missed…

 

Reality Check & Note: This is a true story and Shayla, daddy wrote this one just for his PRINCESS…The loss of a pet is one of the hardest things for a child to go thru and to overcome and well Princess, daddy just wants his “big girl” to smile again…

RIP Lucky

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------->Hmm..Is it wrong that I’m thinking of buying my mom a dildo? I mean I don’t have any sick perverse thoughts about my mom or anything. I just want to feel better when I feel like telling here to “Fuck Off”, when she starts telling me I need help and meds, or the million plus times she’s complained about being over 50 with no man…Hmm, maybe I should get my sister one as well…Don’t take what I said the wrong way, they wouldn’t…I love my family & we have the type of relationship where I can get away with saying such things…lol.

FYI Mom,why would I need MEDS?Life is so much more medicating :=)

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