Bullet Lag

Call it a “Continuation” of sorts..I’m venting at the moment so jsut sit with me…

Character Profile: Sammie Wabenaugh 36 years old, Out of work carpenter and out patient drug rehab patient. See, Sammie got hurt on the job 3 years ago and while he thought he was properly ensured, he and his family learned that he was not, having to now depend solely on his disability check and the little bit of money that his wife brings in as a “temp” secretary who’s going back to work for the first time in almost 10 years. Having been a homemaker prior to that. Choosing to raise her kids and support her husband. A choice of “Family” as  her career, after the birth of their second child, Molly, the challenge of raising two young children, being a career woman and a wife to much for her at a young age.

With all the stress of being the leader of the family and the nagging back pain that just never seemed to go away, ‘Ol Sammie developed an addiction to his pain killers, which mixed with his growing drinking problem led to his addiction to Cocaine. Something that he’d kept a secret for almost 2 years, until his wife caught him in the bathroom one day, snorting off the top of the back of the toilet. Hunched over with his pants down, over the toilet, chasing a past he wanted to remember. Erasing his pains, cleansing his sins thru faded lens..

The look of horror and disappointment on her face as she ran away, a moment that the two of them would forever remember. Her trust now gone, her love and their marriage on the line. Sammie looks for and finds a rehab group just outside of town. It was a group therapy type of place, where spouses or loved one’s were encouraged to participate.

His first “session” Sammie went alone, more to scout the place out than to start down the road of recovery. The first session, he filled out the forms and waited in a lobby full of strangers. Some apparently knowing each other from other groups and other addictions. Some kid standing next to him, Ro, Romy or something. Saw him looking around and said just loud enough for Sammie to hear.

Romy: Say Mayne, What fucked up shit you here for? Life huh? Who knew?

Sammie in his usual manner just kept looking around as if he hadn’t heard anything. Attempting to blend in, which made him stand out. That first session, the story that kid in the lobby told, made Sammie feel something that he’d never felt before. Driving home, not paying attention to traffic, leaving the radio off. Trying to remember word for word that kid had said so that he could share it with his wife. “Something this loon thought”. He couldn’t wait to share the laugh he’d been holding. “What was it he said again?”

 

Romy,

Group Session 7:35 P.M

18 June 2009

“Today would’ve been a TOP STORY,  but that was before I learned about something and it totally changed my life…I am who I am and not who I used to be when I learned to just give it all away to God.”

One day I got so FUCKING PISSED, SO HURT, I FELT DYING, I was out of my mind..I just didn’t want it anymore, I quit on life  and right before I “pulled the trigger”, I asked God to tell me what he wanted, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?”

“And well, anyone who knows me, knows that  if I ask a question, I expect an answer and well I’m one of those people who will only truly believe something if I hear directly from the mouth of God and since I don’t know what he sounds like,  I guess I won’t be pulling that trigger until someone tells me and well you know how that goes…”

As it turns out. Romy really didn’t have any addictions, he joined the group to use it as a confessional and because he thought it’s be any easy way to pick up clients…

 >Ending Pending< I feel better now..maybe I’ll finish both of those stories later…