Times When

Time & time again,
I find myself so stifled and stuffed, stuck on repeat
Stuck on stupid, stupid-stupid me for all times lost spent in thought, fell so deep I fell apart,

There are nights when all I can do is think about that life I've always imagined & have always know that I may never have, never have because I'm too afraid to explore, too afraid to explore, because of my history full of failures,

There are moments when I wish that I could take it all back, times when I just want to give it all up, hours I wish I could give in,

Seconds lead to minutes, minutes lead to hours, hours lead to days, days lead to weeks, weeks lead to months, and months lead to years, yet no matter how much time passes somethings seem as though they may never change,
There are days when I wake up & all that I want to do is pack a bag, gather a few belongings and walk out of the door, but I think about you my secret love it's true,

Throw it all away, throw away all of the losses, throw away all the lies, throw away all of the hurt, throw away all of the pain, fresh start my roaming heart, lungs breathe air I need new life, jump street but no Johnny parts, 21 gun salute to lovers and love lives fallen victim to the souls of broken hearts, cast of fools playing roles, spirits lift me up and soar I go, soar me higher so that when I wipe I wipe the world my gift of rain, no storm, so liquid lisp I quip another sermon soak me up, swerving off the cliff,  I crash and burn my swerve no doubt,  if it all possible then to all possibly I shall offend by the offered lips, my open lid...

No hope for two who've shared this, so to one I must bid my goodbye-riddance too, ask forgiveness no thoughts of ever, storied pass of youthful glory forever, out the game but know I lead the boards that's all-time ever, unwritten obit of no guts no glory I give no selling, hearts I'm piercing through know more meant to me than me to you, no misgiving yet provide for all I do, no thanks I need, for need is to love and love I do, my love to you read right through these lines I write them through, had our chance and appears right now we might've lost it, bleed from wounds my heart leaks this news, you don't hold onto jokers when life is chucking deuce, no love lost for loves lost, crap game known as romance rolling snake eyes , it's all in when comes to me its ante up, wildcard my appearance always fringe with friends who let me push their limits, benefit the queen I cut and fill, my king stays acing while I Jack all in Jill, pushing limits, gift of all that's worth this world of giving,

Feeling good but only 'cause I feel I've gone insane,

Feel alone, a thought, solitarily confined to the hearts of most I beat-beat-beat, with pictures flashing from the sparks no blinding me, patience pays in loads, so by mode I standby idle, no meter fee,

Seconds lead to minutes, minutes lead to hours, hours lead to days, days lead to weeks, weeks lead to months, months lead to years, yet no matter how much time passes somethings seem as though they may never change, I've always known I've wanted you to always want me,

Can't change who I am, so to know me is to know me and to love me is to love me, know me & you'll love me,  love me & I promise to always show you, show why you'll never regret you know me...