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Okay. Alright. So-so-I-may-I might-I could another thought:
I really do believe that ones future can only be broughten forth through the path that ones imagination investigates. And that deep with the spirit is where ones truest passions reside.
So okay I may not be perfect, I'm still me though.
So yeah okay, I'd agree if you were to ever say that there are many decisions that I've made in the past that I should regret, not be proud of, embarrassed about, or fear to be known, but to be bluntly honest with you in the same breathe I'd tell you that I wouldn't have had it any other way.
To be tried, to have failed, to toppled, stumbled and to have fallen is such a blessing to me. Has, is and forever to have proven to be exactly what I've always needed..no matter how much I thought otherwise.
Didn't matter how strong I was, if I didn't recognize where I was weak.
From taking too much of the pleasure and applying most of the pressure, from physical temps and mental tests on daily to grade, I found course to adept, to endure, to overcome. All it took was for me to remember why my Father brought me into this world.
In the flash of a stroke, dot of an I, and a blink of the eyes, I've crossed over from considering all that I would have risk to realizing more than I could ever have dreamed.
By my faith, my word, my honor, like my beard, I grow.
By my purpose, my intent, my desire, I know.
Despite how rough appearances may show to anyone else, by any means even when the odds were stacked and the facts aligned against me, I toil forth.
At fault for far so many things, this is true, but as long as if and still do exist so surely then will all I have and do repent appropriately satisfy any and all of my occurred debts. Makes perfect sense to me that the only way for me to truly be clean and testify that I am cleansed is to believe and to know that through my prayers and my actions forward my sins are forever forgiven.
So Alright. I'm okay. Okay with admitting that I placed a tremendous amount of burden on myself out of fear of not being who anyone expected.
So Alright. Alright and tight with my Father that my never being understood, recognized, or accepted can no longer blind me nor factor into my efforts or measures in my equations.
Just one of the many reasons...many daily motivations that will me to do and to accomplish many great things while laughing, relaxing, and enjoying instead of slaving, barring, and saddling.
Finally!
Finally I am able to go farther from, and get nearer to.
Fascinations of one day holding doors open, of hurrying across the sales floor, of standing at the register, to answering the phones, to making the plans, to organizing the stockroom, to meetings in boardrooms once consumed my schedule. That is until randomly my eyes were opened to just how much I was costing selling myself out for value. Shorting my overall worth...MAN..I tell you...all it took was one phone call and knock on the door from my father to tell me how much he loved me and remind me that he's always going to watch over me, even when I can not watch over myself.
FINALLY! I'm so alright-already-okay with who I am, where I am, and how I am in life that not only can I type it...FINALLY! I can say and show it...with my pride and virtue my life, my loves, my devotions are no longer maybe-thens, they're here and nows. NOW!, Finally I can stand before one all or none, just as a child, instilled and enriched to infinity and to beyond, well after the day my name is permanently etched in stone my legacy will not hinge on possible, nope, neither the probable. I stand up tall with my head high, my voice loud, my tears running down my cheeks and tell you that FINALLY! FINALLY-FINALLY-FINALLY!
I. Amari. Am.
Who. I Am. What. I Am.
#Meant
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