New Season

In 2010 my biggest mistake was holding it all in for the sake of others and letting others dictate all that went on in my life,  which left me starting 2011 homeless, clueless, and feeling lost. No worried,  in 2011 my goal is to let it all out , let whatever happens happen, and prove for once and to all that I all know how to do is win! First step is to rally back from the situation I'm in, take it all as lesson, past mistakes, swear to never make errors like those again, dream still  remains the same, Grammy/AMA/my name on all the contract, multiple songs with radio play, and a degree on the wall.

>No more holding back, means no more giving in
>No more excuses, means procrastination doesn't exist
>Set myself up to go full sail, 'til the day my ship comes pulling in
>Ready or not, here I go
>Win, Lose, no draw, success is the only thing I care to know

Some may view my front page thoughts as top story type issues scatter brain foolish even lost or so I've been called, guess that I should've expected the much when I started actually allowed myself to open up, 'specially when I said one day I' was going to be a big star, have a big house on the hills, drive a fancy six-figure car.
Shit there are even those in my family who believe that I've managed to lose touch with reality because all I ever do lately is dream, tell you the truth all I really want to do is scream, I'VE BEEN THIS WAY MY WHOLE LIFE, sorry you never recognized me. Thought I lost all control the day I started posting words on a blog, seems you overlooked, forgot or never knew that all along I was only trying to prove that Amari does belong, to be part of what you show in your heart, so what I let loose the controls from time to time giving way to acts full of miscues, to me my life has always been live behind the scenes so enjoy the outtakes.
So yeah, once again I'll  take the blame for any & all that went wrong, but never wrong believing in all the hopes of others, nope never will, not once. I'm sorry that I could never stomach placing the weight of the world on my back so instead I carry the world on my arms up and down WHOS SAYING THIS for those too afraid & frail, I open up, as simple as looking at yourself in the mirror, the solution easily comes when find yourself listening to someone else's issues. No degree in this world, no school could ever teach the ability that I have to get up over & over again no matter how many times I've been knocked down. Someone once said that the "Quickest way to find a lending hand is by looking at those things at the ends of your arms."
So called "friends" love to hear how you're doing unless it something they aren't used to. Family is only there when you useful. I tell ya tell ya this cleansing the spirit ish what I need to get back to, for anyone who reads it's gone take some gettin' used too.

2010 Held it all in. Too much.

2011 Letting it all out. Fuck it.

This much I know . Life could never get or be as bad the past or so that’s what all the greats have ever told me, life is as it was and will forever remind some of what they lost  and others regret over things they’ve always wanted. It was just a little while ago, do note, do know, enclosed outpours left for some my heart felts  for those few who will always be there to see the show. To all those  that don't know, you’ll  remember when the moment passed.

Past tense, yet presence, I promise to have the final laugh..nah-nah-nah..I'm pretty sure that I can look forward now..

Have you ever found yourself so focused on conquering that one thing you've always wanted the most in or out of life that times it seems as though everyone else in the world just tends to fade-fade-fade away, slowly as you concentrate life disappears before your face, seems your running out of time, but you wouldn’t know because it’s been ages since you’ve taken a break long enough to look at the clock, the only thing that matters at the moment is all that you see in front of you, the end result, the feeling of reaching that goal or dream?

Triumph..