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Pathway


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Boy oh boy, man oh man....This whole attempt at being an author thing is something SERIOUS! I mean like hot damn!
Oh shit fa'real fa'real,
muh'muh'muh-MOTHERFUCKING fa'fa-REAL(?) YES I AM!
Will I make it another page or will I crumble it all up and throw it away?
Worth vs. Self > or = to my type & spray, that be my write & say.
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To put my life on Word thus into words for others to observe, requires a sort of loosening of nerve combined with the acceptance that I am running the risk of ridicule, and above it all letting people that I know..those who know me, and that those I don't know at all, inside of a place that I for most part I've kept to myself for the past 32 years. This may turn out to be my toughest thing I've ever done in my life and God knows..I have dealt with some very tough shit before, but shit God also knows the real shit I've been dealing with on a daily for the past few months away from this book that at this very moment would probably push most people over the cliff. So why with all of that I have going on, all that needs my direct attention am I sitting here, for the most part...jovial and content? Why is it that when I should be worried, mad, or upset...I am only but a tad frustrated but still happy? Instead of pounding my head and fist upon the nearest surface, my fingers are steadily typing away? I know the answers...but I guess sometimes even when you feel, think, believe that you know or have the answers..it doesn't hurt to ask again anyway because when you do, the moment the questions leave your lips or appear right before you..that second or third look that you give it...changes and helps a lot...

I've placed so much pressure on myself lately..not anymore pressure than usual...but something tells me that this time....this time no amount of pressure (a little or a lot) can or will change what is going to eventually happen. So even if the results that I anticipate do not match the outcome, I should take pride in my efforts nonetheless....

Hmmmph...I guess that's where I end this log for today...
And I will leave you with this:

Every mountain has a trail and every trail has it's share of obstacles. If your only goal is to make it to the top of the mountain, then allow no amount of obstacles, big or small, define the trail that you choose. Because if what you truly want is at the top of that mountain, then you will allow nothing...nothing at all to stand in your way. -Who's Saying This
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