@Who's Saying This

January 24, 2009 A little nervous I sit here wondering..Will I be accepted?? Will I be understood?? Will anyone even care to listen?? The "new guy", looking for one bright smile...a welcome of sorts or will there be rejection? I feel excited while at the same time a bit nervous. These are my words/thoughts/feelings, will they be understood? Who cares really, see I'm new so no one knows me anyway..I have the element of surprise on my side, I get to make a mistake here or there..ask the dumb question if I so choose. Like that first day in school or the first day at a new job, I'll just sit back for a bit and evaluate. Watch what those around me do and interject only when I see the perfect opening, sure some will judge me on my outward appearance alone, but will it matter once they know the inner me? Some may make it easy for me to adjust, others may attempt to throw obstacles in my path. I'm just the new guy here people so you know nothing of my past....

January 22, 1980 I've always held the long standing belief that birthdays are not only a day of celebration but also a day of reflection, for instance I can remember now when I was younger I would always say: I can't wait until I'm X years old...Like when I was 10 I couldn't wait until I was 15, when I was 15 I couldn't wait until I was 18, when I was 18 I couldn't wait until I was 21. But it's funny because when I turned 25 I wanted to be 21 again. Today I sit here at 29 and examine what I've done in life up to this point, what I do now and want to do in the future. The best thing about any birthday I've had thus far hasn't been the presents, the parties or the people, but has been the ability to continue to dream, as I continue to age and change so do my dreams. And to someone who today lost someone very important in their life today I say: As hard as now may seem, and as dim as moving forward may appeard, think not about the moments missed bu

January 20, 2009 There is something special, something magical happening today and we're all a part of it. The world as it always does is changing but does/will anybody truly care to take notice? Some will say that this is the day the defines our nation, others will say that this is the day that our nation is divided...We've all seen and have bee told that "Change" is coming, but what are each of us willing to do to assist in bringing about such a thing? I truly believe that there are positives that we can all find within ourselves that if shared with others will help lead us towards the former and not the latter. But without a given direction, are any of us willing to ourselves lead towards that change? Big picture things such as war, the economy, crime, immigration, and homelessness are all things that many of us are in no position to fix over night, but by educating our minds and communicating our thoughts we will all have fulfilled at least one basic principle.

Sunday, December 14, 2008 Okay so anyone who's ever read one of these-check that, one of mine knows the drill: Read,ReRead, Read again...Understand The method of thoughts, memories, past, present and future are common. What's not common is the practice...The things that we think about are often a combination of things that we've experienced, are experiencing or have yet to...Confused? See the first line above....Now that I've gotten your attention... So I'm sitting here and thinking about dreams..My dreams, the dreams of others around me and the dreams of those who've accomplished what they've dreamnt. My dreams (and you may laugh, also in no particular order): I want to enterain millions of people and take the burden of everyday life out of there lives if but only for a moment, I want to be known for doing something that helps others without ever having been asked or recognized, I want to contribute to the future of people in gene

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 I've heard it said time and time again that in order to achieve greatness you must first fail. My question is: How many times must one fail in order to begin to see a touch of greatness....? I've recently been evaluating my life and the decisions that I made up to know, thought back on past relationships, promises(broken and unbroken), jobs, friends, dreams, ambitions, goals, pretty much everything. And to this point I can honestly say that in all of things I failed on way or another, pretty weird that after 28 years on this earth I can't come up with a single thing that I've done and managed to have at least partial success at. Aside from bringing 2 beautiful little girls into this world I have yet to do anything that defines me as a person. I've asked and asked and asked God again "What it is that I am here for?" "What is my path?" and to this point I haven't gotten an answer...Do I

Tuesday, December 04, 2007 For a lot of you this may not make any sense, but for me try to get something out of what I'm getting ready to say: For as long as I've been on this earth I've felt almost untouchable, like Telfon. Nothing touched my heart, I had no emotion, I only cared about me>myself>and I. But in the past 4 weeks I've experinced some shit that's made me take a step back and reevaluate the world around me. In the last 4 weeks I've suffered personal injury, I've lost my job, I've had my motives judged by those close to me and I've seen the tragic loss of life of two people that the world may never have the chance to appreciate. Neither of the two do I knwo personally and nor do I think that I ever would have, what I do know is unlike any other death that I've seen on the news these two have affected me in a way that I would never have expected. I've been a witness to death, I've taken life and I

Friday, August 11, 2006 Life is full of so many trials..tribulations....pains....difficulties..full of liars, cheaters, hustlers and the what not...what life is rarely full of is positive and unconditional love, honor and respect.... Yeah Y'all know that you're boy has been going thru some real life shit and some adult type issues...and well while things weren't looking god for a while, heart and mind both were attacked by stress, pain and heartache...I think that I may just make it out of this okay....That person that I was talking about, that person that helped put me in that position(I say helped because everything in life takes two people) I think that we've reached a common ground and while I'm not sure where that will leave things in the future I do know that anywhere far from where we were I'll take...Now with that being said let's get on to tonights "Words of Wisdom" And so......People get in touch with your emoti

Friday, August 11, 2006 "Sometimes love can feel like, the closest thing to heaven....Sometimes love can feel like you've been ran over by a car....It's the strangest thing I know, make you feel warm when you feel cold....." Okay Okay Okay...So it happens to men and more importantly it can happen to me too...Never thought it would but hey that's why I don't get paid to predict things.... Anyone who read my last blog can understand the point, reason, and pain of this one....Scenario: Last week I'm pretty much on top of the world, happy with life, happy at home...bothered by a few things but who's not?? Fast Forward to Saturday..which at the time I thought was my best day of the year...up until that night/Sunday morning when not only was my level of trust with someone that I trusted more than anyone in this world was dealt a crushing, humiliating, breath-taking blow. I found out that the person that was so close to me had been

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 Man fuck it...If you read this and can't grasp what the fuck I'm about to say then shit by all fucking means STOP READING NOW.... I know that it's been a month or two or whatever since I've put my thoughts down on this here make-shift piece of paper, but damn this time I'm done and I mean done..... Ask yourself this question ladies/dudes - You ever been in a relationship with somebody, or talking to somebody, or even out of a relationship with someone that you thought you were close to but whenever something went wrong it was your fault, something that you did in the past, something that you don't do for them now?? How about you're always the one lying or you're the one that doesn't appreciate what they do?? Hmm..I thought so, man I just found out this past weekend that the one person above all others that I THOUGHT I could trust was the person that I could trust the least...You know who you are so I

Friday, June 16, 2006 Let me start by saying that and qoute me on this if you'd like " I hate EVERy race...I hate Nigras, I hate spics, I hate japs/chinks, I hate whitey, been to Iraq so yeah I hate them too..." You know why? Because it's always easier to hate equally than it is to hate individually....On the real I've lived this thing called life for 26 years and in those 26 years I'm not "accepted" by most of my own people, because I "talk different"....I "act" different"...I listen to the wrong kind of music and date the "others"...lol. Shit it's all funny to me, we're in a society right now where EVERYONE wants their "kind/race" to have equal rights in this country. EVERYONE wants to be a part of America...EVERYONE this and EVERYONE that...Shut the Fuck up already....Check it when I was growing up I was always told that I could bring home ANYONE of ANY race as long as she

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 I unlike most people that I know stay up all night and in doing so I've come up with some interesting shit from time to time, and on most ocassions the thought of "blogging" about them hits me when I do finally lay down to go to sleep.. So tonight/today(whatever) I'll let you all in on one: I've finally reached a point in my life where I just don't give a damn anymore, not about life in general but about what "everyone feels is sooo damn important". I can honestly say(unike many other men) that I've lied to make myself "seem" better than other men, I've been the player, the pimp and damnit the hustler, I've had more than my far share of women thru the years, even been married. But one thing that I've always TRIED to be is real, i..and by that I mean I've never once "acted" a certain way, I know I know earlier I said I've done my share of lying...shit we all